Winning and Boozing — Week 7 in the SEC: Bow ties and IPAs suck

By Chris Marler

It’s the biggest day of the year. Let’s Party.

We made it. October 12, a day that on paper looks like the single greatest slate of college football games of the entire season. It’s a date we’ve had circled on our calendars for months. Arbor Day? Never heard of it. Columbus Day? No clue. My anniversary? No comment.

But, Separation Saturday? Oh, that’s October 12, 2024, and we’ve been waiting on that forever. We have great football from morning to night. Ranked matchups, new conference heavyweights and historical significant rivalries are all on full display today. So, grab a cup and pour a glass because it’s a party. Welcome to Week 7 of Winning & Boozing.

Oklahoma vs Texas

Two teams coming off a bye week. Two fanbases begging to be the center of attention and focus of relevance. This is a really fun game, and despite being one sided with Oklahoma winning 11 out of the last 14, it’s seemingly always close on the field. In fact, eight of the last 10 games between these two were one score games.

Not this year. Texas is really good, and Oklahoma is really banged up, inexperienced and about to be in way over its head. The Sooners have been one of the most consistent programs in college football over the last 25 years. But, without a generational or even an elite quarterback, it’s been a tough road for OU. I think Texas rolls today. They are better in every phase of the game, and Steve Sarkisian is one of the best coaches in the power four coming off a bye week.

The Winning: Texas 31 Oklahoma 10

The Boozing: An overpriced IPA. Fun fact about me, I don’t drink IPAs. I think they taste like socks, and I don’t like them. But why is it that people who do love IPAs feel the need to always tell you about how much they love IPAs and how much they know about IPAs. Buddy, this is a Buffalo Wild Wings, calm down. IPA lovers are basically the vegans and crossfitters of the alcohol world. You’ll know within 30 seconds of meeting someone if they like any of the three because they will work it into the conversion and make it their entire personality.

That type of insufferable interaction also feels like every interaction I have ever had with Texas and Oklahoma fans coming into their first year in the SEC. We get it, y’all were really good a long time ago, and that one Rose Bowl was awesome. I’ll just take a Miller Lite and any of the minimum five SEC rivalries better than this one. Stay blessed though.

LSU vs Ole Miss 

LSU comes into this game as a 3-point underdog, at home, at night and off a bye week. Ole Miss is a good football team and all, but in what world is LSU an underdog at home to a team they have beaten ten out of their last 11 trips to Baton Rouge? LSU has won seven straight against Ole Miss in Baton Rouge scoring nearly 40 ppg in those games (39.3). They’re also coming off a bye week, and historically speaking, Brian Kelly has been dominant in games following a bye week. He’s 20-3 in regular season games and 15-2 at home.

It worries me that so many people have jumped on the LSU betting bandwagon for this weekend, and the line still hasn’t moved. I do think Ole Miss’s offense will present challenges to a Tiger secondary that still isn’t close to the DBU pedigree we’re so familiar with. But, over the last two games Jaxson Dart has looked like a shell of the quarterback we saw in the first for games of the season.

Ole Miss’s first four games were against teams that are currently ranked an average of 102nd in the CBS Sports Top 130. That doesn’t even include FCS Furman. This ain’t Furman, and it’s definitely not a home game. Dart scored 15 total touchdowns in those first four games. He has scored a total of one in the last two games against Kentucky and South Carolina while finishing with his lowest completion percentage in the last two years as a starter a week ago in Columbia.

The Winning: LSU 30 Ole Miss 27

The Boozing: Jungle Juice. And a lot of it. If you’re confused on how to make jungle juice, let me help you. Just ask the liquor store attendant for the cheapest 190 proof liquor they have. Then get roughly two to 13 bottles of it, pour it in a giant cooler and then mix in a bunch of sugar and fruit themed mixers. Voila. Jungle juice has always been a staple at college parties and tailgates because it’s cheap, easy to make and just as delicious as it is dangerous.

This game doesn’t need any fancy drinks at the tailgate or something conservative like whiskey and coke, bourbon, seltzer, etc. Get rowdy. This isn’t The Grove. This isn’t a grassy courtyard full of fake chandeliers, locked coolers and dudes named Preston wearing a bow tie for no reason at all. This is Death Valley. This is tailgating done right.

Also stop wearing bowties. Unless it’s Easter, the Kentucky Derby, or you’re a lawyer in the 1940s working a case in an un-air conditioned office, there is quite literally no reason to ever wear a bow tie.