Welcome back to the weekend, and welcome back to another edition of Winning & Boozing. The only weekly article on the internet where we not only provide picks and previews for the biggest games, we also tell you exactly what booze you’ll need at the Saturday tailgate.
Cheers to another weekend of SEC football.
Arkansas at Texas A&M
This game being in primetime is like if the Wiggles were the Sunday headliner at Coachella. It’s garbage.
The Winning
Texas A&M 27, Arkansas 17
The Boozing
Bleach martini with blue cheese stuffed olives. Anybody that’s ever bartended or worked in a restaurant knows this pain. You’re hungover on a Sunday morning after a Saturday night that went way too late. You’ve shown up late for your shift, didn’t eat anything, and honestly are one burp or whiff of smoked salmon away from sprinting to the bathroom to throw up.
Being in the middle of a 5-to-7-hour nightmarish brunch shift is awful. The rush never seems to slow down, and with the late church crowd on the horizon the misery continues. The only Band-Aid for hunger during that hellscape is one thing, and one thing only, blue cheese stuffed olives. Besides someone pulling the fire alarm, it was the one shining light in an otherwise horrible, horrible darkness at the Houston’s off Lenox Road in Atlanta, Ga. after a night out on Saturday.
That may seem dramatic, but everything I just described still sounds way more enjoyable than watching either of these teams play football.
Auburn at Tennessee
Auburn does not have the offensive firepower to hang with Tennessee. Even worse, all the things that Tennessee got exposed last week aren’t strong suits for Auburn. They don’t have a ton of consistency offensively, and rank 11th in the league in yards per play (5.8) and total yards per game (413.5). What concerns you the most if you’re Auburn is that Byrum Brown hasn’t looked great so far as the quarterback, and no one goes to Neyland Stadium to figure it out. It will be loud and hostile. Even worse, the offensive line he’s behind has allowed the most sacks (14) of any team in the conference, and they’re going up against a Tennessee unit that leads the SEC in sacks with 19.
The Winning
Tennessee 30, Auburn 21
The Boozing
Emergen-C. Add some vodka if you want, but this is important to hear. We need some Emergen-C because both of these offenses made me sick last week.
Alabama at Mississippi State
This is a massive game for both teams. Each has an absolute gauntlet in the month of October. Mississippi State has road games at LSU and Texas in the coming weeks, and Alabama hosts Georgia and travels to Tennessee in the next two weeks. The key to this game will be quarterback play and explosiveness on offense.
Each team has been phenomenal offensively through their first four games. Quarterback Kamario Taylor may be the best player in the country, and quarterback Keelon Russell has been lights out for the Crimson Tide over the last two weeks. There’s rain in the forecast for Saturday which may impact the passing game for both sides, but the latest reports say it could be gone by kickoff.
If it comes down to the run game, that favors Alabama because its front seven is better suited to stop the run, and win a physical mismatch against what should be an inferior Mississippi State offensive line. The State defense has also given up 119 yards or more in three of their four games this season.
Taylor is the ultimate equalizer for any team, and this should be a four-quarter battle. If Mississippi State can get out ahead early, like Kentucky and Florida State did against Alabama, they are built to pull away. I think Alabama wins in a close one.
The Winning
Alabama 33, Mississippi State 30
The Boozing
Vodka-Mosas. One of our esteemed coworkers is a proud alum of Mississippi State. I’m not sure what she loves more, Mississippi State or champagne. I grew up in a family from Anniston, Ala. This will shock you but no one in the family went to Alabama. I know, I know. How crazy right? Regardless, the office is a real water cooler divided situation this week. It’s an early kickoff so mimosas are perfect. Something tells me I may need more than champagne to get through what will certainly be one of the most exciting games in this rivalry in the last 20 years. It should be up there with 2017 or 2007. And, when I say “exciting” I mean incredibly stressful and miserable for 3.5 hours.
Vodka-mosas are fine by me. Like most SEC fans, I don’t care what I’m drinking as long as it gets the job done. And, it’s not Gin because, gross. George Thorogood once said he wanted to “get so drunk he couldn’t even speak.” Whatever the option is for that, but hearing loss should be on the menu this weekend. It will be a go-to order for Alabama fans on Saturday having to deal with the combination of cowbells and Taylor that has swept the nation through the first month of the season.
Cheers.
