Welcome back to another edition of Winning & Boozing. It’s the only weekly article that gives you previews, picks and, most importantly, the booze of choice you’ll need at your SEC tailgate this Saturday. Cheers to Week 6!
LSU at Kentucky
LSU’s 24-year drought in Lexington is a factual talking point heading into this game. It’s also largely irrelevant. The Tigers are 0-2. Let’s calm down a bit.
This game is interesting for a number of reasons. It’s the first road test for LSU since their loss at Ole Miss. It’s also a matchup of familiar faces for the coordinators.
The biggest question for me is how well LSU’s back seven can defend Kentucky’s tight ends, who account for three of the Wildcats’ top five pass catchers. Also, can quarterback Sam Leavitt’s accuracy continue to show improvement despite the turnovers. Leavitt completed 76% of his passes in LSU’s last two games.
The Winning
LSU 34, Kentucky 20
The Boozing
Pappy Van Winkle 23 Year.
The bourbon rush over the last decade or so has swept the nation. It’s nothing new to people from Kentucky, though.
A trip to Lexington hasn’t been great for LSU fans over the last 24 years, as the Tigers are winless over that time period. This trip feels a little different, and it’s exactly why this specific bottle is perfect.
Not only is it one of the most prized bottles of bourbons you can collect, display or gasp drink. It’s also at the center of “Pappygate,” one of the wildest heist stories in American history, after a 26-year-old employee was caught stealing more than $500,000 worth of bourbon in 2013.
This trip feels much more like that for the Tigers. Head coach Lane Kiffin and company are coming to Lexington on a mission. The fans, not Kiffin, are going to drink your bourbon, overtake your poor-man’s Albertson’s themed stadium (that’s a Kroger reference) and then let you hear all about it as they plunder the end zone and pillage the town. Metaphorically, of course.
Grab every bottle you can, but make sure the 23 Year makes it to the tailgate. It feels appropriate considering the last coach everyone outside Baton Rouge hated led LSU to a national title.
South Carolina at Florida
It’s going to be ugly, and it will be defense optional in Gainesville.
The Winning
Florida 41, South Carolina 24
The Boozing
Sleepy time tea.
Florida head coach Jon Sumrall continues his season-long cornball press conference tour, and last Saturday’s loss to Missouri was no different. Sumrall is a try hard in a lot of ways, but who cares because Florida fans love it and it’s worked so far.
He’s got the Gators way ahead of schedule from where most expected them to be. Sumrall said on Monday he couldn’t even sleep after the loss to Missouri. Then, in the same sentence said he fell asleep at 3 a.m.
So you did sleep? Corny behavior. Have some chamomile to soothe your gravelly throat and get some shuteye. There should be plenty of it in South Carolina’s locker room because those guys have apparently slept through every second half they’ve played this season.
Texas vs Oklahoma
The total is only 39.5, and considering how well these defenses have played, and how bad both offenses have looked at times, that still might be too high.
Oklahoma needs to utilize John Mateer’s legs. And, I barely mean by running the football. It might actually be time to see if he’d be more accurate throwing the ball with his feet than his hands. To be fair, the same can be said for Arch Manning at times, too.
The Winning
Texas 23, Oklahoma 13
The Boozing
A frozen lemonade margarita.
I don’t know. This game is at a fair and it feels like you have to get a lemonade at the fair. It feels like you also need to have several margaritas to watch Oklahoma play offense.
And, make sure you drink it as fast as possible to keep with the theme because a brain freeze is exactly what happens to Mateer when he tries to read a defense. Also, the only thing more terrifying than Colin Simmons is that Big Tex statue outside of the fairgrounds.
Georgia at Alabama
These two fan bases are so toxic that even a literal hurricane doesn’t want to be around them. That’s right. We got some good news on the weather front for this Saturday’s game. In dryer conditions in Bryant-Denny Stadium, it feels like Alabama has the edge.
This will be the toughest test they’ve faced all year. However, for Georgia it will be the first test they’ve faced at all. The Bulldogs are really good. Their roster is better from top to bottom. And, quarterback Gunner Stockton is the most underrated player in the country.
Cool. They can’t hang with Alabama’s offense for 60 minutes. Right now, I’m not sure if anyone can.
The Winning
Alabama 26, Georgia 24
The Boozing
Crown Royal and water.
The winner of this game usually gets to wear the crown as the SEC champion. In fact, the SEC Champion in 11 of the last 12 years has been either Georgia or Alabama.
Crown makes sense. Water makes even more sense considering the threat of bad weather. Reports are so bad that some of the hurricanes may end up causing tornadoes. What in the Sharknado, Twister 3 movie script is that?
Either way, I’d normally say Canadian whisky has no place in the Deep South. But between the Olympic gold medal hockey game and the World Cup, America has owned Canada this year almost as thoroughly as Alabama has owned Georgia and Kirby Smart.
