LSU Athletics
By Chris Marler
It’s been a long offseason, and it’s still not over yet. That being said, fall camps will begin this week across the SEC as we continue to inch closer to actual meaningful football.
That means a few things: First, we finally get the sweet sound of pads popping again. Second, fans across the Southeast can give themselves a break from the emotional rollercoaster that is the Atlanta Braves. And third, some poor die-hard is about to completely lose it over a blurry clip of a circus catch in camp, convincing himself the Heisman is locked up and a natty’s on the way. Never mind that it was against a 5-foot-8 scout team walk-on in gym shorts and one of those oversized, Spaceballs-looking padded helmets.
We listen and we don’t judge. I’m probably going to do the same.
Here are the things I have absolutely, and irrationally, convinced myself of heading into the 2025 SEC season.
There isn’t a defense in America that will be able to guard LSU’s wide receivers/pass catchers this year.
That last sentence may sound a bit overzealous, but just know that if I had some liquid courage and wasn’t afraid of Twitter and YouTube comment sections, I would take it a step further and say that this 2025 unit is deeper than the 2019 WR room.
Sure, there may not be a Ja’Marr Chase or Justin Jefferson on this year’s roster—but there are four to six receivers (and that’s before you even factor in the tight ends) who are more than capable of keeping defensive backs and coordinators up at night this season. Everyone in this WR corps runs in the 4.3s. No, seriously. And, the two that don’t are Nic Anderson and TE Trey’Dez Green who are 6-foot-4 225 pounds and a 6-foot-7 two sport unicorn, respectively.
How are defenses going to line up and actually cover 4.3 Barrion Brown, 4.3 Aaron Anderson, 4.3 Zavion Thomas, 4.3 Chris Hilton and 10.03 100 meter Jelani Watkins between the 20s?
Follow up question, how are they going to defend the other two towering mismatches once they get inside the 20 with a shortened field? And my final question, how do you cover ALL of that when arguably the best quarterback in the country is the one throwing to them?
They won’t. They can’t. (At least I don’t think they will.)
Alabama is a national championship caliber team and people aren’t talking enough about it.
I know, I know. How could I say that when they have to face UGA and Diego Pavia again?
Listen, I didn’t say I think they’ll go undefeated. I’m just saying they are good enough to be the best team in the SEC and win another national title, and it’s shocking so few people outside of Tuscaloosa are even talking about it.
Texas was picked to win the SEC at Media Days. Georgia, LSU and DJ Lagway stole the show and most of the attention the rest of the week. That leaves little ol’ Alabama just lying in the weeds as an afterthought for one of the first times in two decades.
Good. Let the media and rival fans keep not talking enough about 2025 Alabama.
Let them dismiss and doubt the new quarterback they have to break in. Definitely do not talk about him being a former five-star entering year four and being a better fit for this offense than Jalen Milroe. Also, please do not talk about Ryan Grubb returning as OC and teaming up with Kalen DeBoer to run this offense, like they did in 2023 when they played for a national title.
What else? Oh, definitely don’t say a word about the defense potentially being Saban-era levels of elite this year. After all, giving up 40 points to Vanderbilt and almost blowing that lead to UGA are way more fun to talk about than their top ten defense from a year ago. You know the one that’s returning nearly every single starter, while having actual legitimate depth at every level that they didn’t have in 2024.
None of that matters. And, even if it did, it’s not like Kalen DeBoer’s a good coach. He lost to Vanderbilt. Why would we talk about him being 15-3 against Top 25 teams (best in the nation) and 7-0 against the coaches constantly ranked ahead of him in offseason rankings: Steve Sarkisian, Kirby Smart, Brian Kelly and Dan Lanning.
Everyone is going to forget that Missouri even exists for half the season. Then, we’ll look up a few weeks before Halloween and they’ll be undefeated and in the Top Ten.
Missouri is the Kevin McAllister of the SEC in 2025. Not just because the rest of his family (conference) hates him. But, also because they’re going to be forgotten about until halfway through October when they’re 6-0, being talked about as a CFP contender and Eli Drinkwitz donates a six figure NIL deal to the pigeon lady for charity.
That was a Home Alone 2 reference.
Anyways, the first six games of Missouri’s schedule are apparently sponsored by a parolee’s ankle monitor since they aren’t leaving home until mid October.
Missouri should be good again this year. They made some great additions defensively, and shouldn’t have a huge drop off at quarterback from a production standpoint.
But, I maintain my prediction. After all, hardly anyone outside of Columbia realizes that they won ten games last year, and 21 over their last two, including a win over Ohio State.
The only thing most SEC fans know about Missouri is that if they could call ICE to deport them out of this conference, they probably would.
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