
Dale Zanine-Imagn Images
By Chris Marler
Alabama
What if Kalen DeBoer trots out in another K-Mart special on the sidelines? Think fashion doesn’t matter in the SEC? Then don’t ask an ADPi how much she spent on her game day fit. And definitely don’t mention DeBoer’s sideline outfit from that loss to Vanderbilt last year, especially not to a guy decked out head-to-toe in Peter Millar.
Arkansas
What if they fire Sam Pittman because they get confused on what expectations are versus entitlement? Do y’all not remember hiring Chad Morris before? Pittman is the most likable coach in the SEC. He beat a top five team last season. Stop pretending like y’all care about football more than basketball or baseball anyways.
Auburn
What if Hugh Freeze wasn’t a good hire and Auburn fans have to stop pretending that everything from their record to the US economy was Bryan Harsin’s fault?
Florida
What if the same schedule they played last year doesn’t get any easier this year? Is Billy Napier back on the hot seat?
Georgia
What if one of their players has to drive the team bus and everyone goes to jail? Just kidding. What if the quarterback and offensive line play struggles again and the revenge season turns into another disappointing year short of expectations?
Kentucky
What if Zach Calzada becomes just another transfer quarterback that this offense turns into a turnover machine?
LSU
What if they lose their sixth straight opener? Or even worse, what if the projected five new starters on the offensive line can’t keep Garrett Nussmeier upright?
Mississippi State
What if baseball season never comes?
What if they play the easiest schedule in the SEC and still don’t sniff the College Football Playoff?
Oklahoma
What if John Mateer isn’t the second coming of Jesus?
Ole Miss
What if Lane Kiffin somehow once again blows a chance at making the playoff that was served up on a silver platter?
South Carolina
What if everything is going right for South Carolina, and then Bret Bielema shows up to troll Shane Beamer out of nowhere like that one guy in Happy Gilmore and lives rent free in his head once again just like the Cheez-It Bowl?
Tennessee
What if the quarterback situation is much less game manager-ish and much more Jarrett Guarantano-ish?
Texas
What if they lose to Georgia again? Will anyone notice or will they still be considered the best team in the SEC?
Texas A&M
What if they go 8-4 for the 117th straight season?
Vanderbilt
What if Diego Pavia is right and they beat Alabama for a second straight year?

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