Nathan Ray Seebeck-Imagn Images
By Chris Marler
Michigan is set to learn its fate from the NCAA today, though anyone who has followed college football for more than five minutes already knows how this ends.
With nothing.
Expecting the NCAA to drop the hammer on a blue-blood program over a scandal is like expecting a ref to reverse a call in your team’s favor, technically possible, but you’d be wise not to hold your breath.
The NCAA has been a joke of an organization for quite some time. Their inability to do the right thing at every turn has been remarkable to watch. Don’t believe me? Is Kansas basketball serving probation right now? No? Exactly. Did the NCAA hand down anything during the 2023 season that actually impacted Michigan? Also no? Exactly.
This is an organization that watched what happened at Penn State with Joe Paterno and allowed them to keep a football program. This is the same organization that watched Missouri get shaken down by a student tutor for $5,000 after she, on her own, completed homework and tests for 13 athletes. Missouri self-reported the violation, and the NCAA rewarded them with a postseason bowl ban.
At every turn they seem to make the one decision that was least likely or acceptable from an optics standpoint.
We all know Michigian isn’t going to receive any punishment. A blue blood program that’s been woven into the fabric and identity of college football as a whole getting preferential treatment is exactly what’s in store for everyone when they make the announcement early Friday afternoon.
Who cares about a bowl ban? And no one cares about vacated wins. The wish, or perhaps the plea, to the NCAA is simple: make Michigan’s punishment an honest, objective conversation about what the program truly is moving forward.
This is a program that has had 1.5 national championships since 1948. It’s a program that, until they started sending Connor Stalions on the road, was 3-14 versus top ten opponents. It’s a program that dodged difficult games like Floyd Mayweather did punches in the ring. They quit the 2020 season before even playing their rivalry game against Ohio State. They also played one road game in the month of September from 2020 to 2024 and that was against 4-8 Nebraska.
What they did during black-and-white television days and pre-World War II somehow fed the propaganda machine for their national relevancy for over fifty years. They had one shared national title from the Cold War to COVID, and everyone pretended they were elite because they had cool helmets. The idea that Michigan is a consistent staple and elite program that actually wins at the same rate as other blue bloods has been force fed to us against our will like that U2 album we all got on iTunes back in 2014. And, don’t even start on Charles Woodson winning a Heisman over Peyton Manning.
Why? Because they have cool helmets? Cool.
So, spare the vacated wins or hollow punishments the NCAA has handed down like a substitute teacher who lost respect the moment he rolled that giant TV on wheels into the room. Nobody is buying it.
This is a team that needed a super fan turned assistant to spy on their opponents to win games. And did so when the schedule consisted of only two ranked opponents the entire regular season. Do everyone a favor and skip the legal jargon and litigation fluff. Just call this program what it really is.
That should be punishment enough.
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