Ole Miss Athletics
By Chris Marler
It’s Christmas time. If you are still looking for some last minute gifts, here’s what every SEC fanbase wants this year. Enjoy.
Alabama – Kalen DeBoer to sign an extension
A win over Indiana would obviously be great, but the official sigh of relief that Alabama fans could let out with news of keeping their coach would be even better.
DeBoer has become the hottest name on every hypothetical hire as of late, especially Michigan’s. Not having to search for another head coach would be a great way to end the season, or start the new year.
Arkansas – A new athletic director
The only people that hate Hunter Yurachek more than Notre Dame fans are Arkansas fans. Sadly, they’re the ones that have to deal with him.
Auburn – For Cam Coleman to stay, and a winning season
It’s been five years since Auburn has had a winning season in football. The self-proclaimed “everything school” has strictly become a basketball school since COVID.
Having newly hired coach Alex Golesh get them to seven wins in year one would be huge. Keeping the uber talented WR Cam Coleman on the Plains would be a 1B, 1A situation for most Auburn fans. That’s especially the case considering 20 players are already reportedly going to enter the portal.
Florida – To be forced to delete some tweets
There are plenty to choose from when it comes to this fanbase, but specifically any tweets about Jon Sumrall not being a good hire.
Florida fans clearly wanted Lane Kiffin, and when that didn’t happen, the reaction to any subsequent hire was bound to be negative from the start. Since the hire, Sumrall has grown more likable and looks like a stronger fit for the job after bringing on Buster Faulkner as his offensive coordinator.
Gator fans would love nothing more than to have to delete some negative tweets about their new coach and to be proven wrong.
Georgia – A(nother) national championship
It’s been a crazy year for college football and the wildest year ever for the coaching carousel, but Georgia and Kirby Smart are exactly where they want, and expected, to be. All the outside chaos and noise doesn’t concern the program in Athens. Their goal is the same as it always is, bringing another trophy to Georgia and to remind everyone that this dynasty isn’t over.
Kentucky – Relevancy
The Wildcats enjoyed a couple of ten win seasons in the past decade. Their first since 1977 in fact. But, it’s about to be 2026 and Kentucky is looking down the barrel of the first new hire in football in the last 15 years, and an unranked basketball team, despite a $22 million NIL roster.
LSU – To be right about Lane
It has to work. It cannot fail. Period.
The Brian Kelly experiment failed, but it felt like there were reasons for it. If Lane Kiffin fails as the head coach at LSU, then there are no excuses. They’ve opened up the check book, opened themselves up to scrutiny and will give Kiffin everything he could ever ask for to win a national championship.
Mississippi State – For you to actually visit Starkville before talking crap about it
It’s one of the worst low hanging fruit jokes in the SEC now. Right up there with “Missouri doesn’t belong” because of geography. Cowbells may be annoying to rival fans, and Starkville may be small. But, no one that’s visited for a fall Saturday or spring weekend for baseball has had a negative thing to say about it. Go visit. Or shut up about it.
Missouri – A Quarterback with stability
Missouri would like a quarterback that isn’t on loan for a year. For the longest time, the quarterback position was never a question for Missouri. It seemed like every single QB they had dating back to Chase Daniel was a three or four year starter. With Beau Pribula potentially leaving after just one year, it would be great for Missouri if the next guy, whether that’s Matt Zollers or not, is there for a bit longer.
Oklahoma – John Mateer progression
John Mateer was the Heisman frontrunner in September, and has all the talent in the world to take this team to a national championship – if he can progress as a quarterback. The thumb injury may have hurt Oklahoma this year, but his inability to not turn the ball over was much more costly.
Ole Miss – For this season to keep going
A Sugar Bowl win would be awesome. A trip to the national title would be even better. But proving they can keep winning, and that their success wasn’t dependent on Lane Kiffin alone, is what Ole Miss fans want more than anything right now.
South Carolina – For baseball season to be fun
There are plenty of things that South Carolina fans want for Christmas in regards to football. LaNorris Sellers to officially be back and DL coach Lucas Sterling not bolting to Baton Rouge would probably be at the top of the list. Not losing a lot of the freshman WR class to the portal is another.
But, the football season was a massive disappointment already. It doesn’t look like men’s basketball is going to be much better. South Carolina fans would love if their once very proud baseball program could return to form in year two of Paul Mainieri.
Tennessee – Who cares
Tennessee fans are awful, and deserve nothing but coal.
Texas – For anyone outside of Austin to believe their excuses
Against all odds, Texas fans still managed to make a College Football Playoff they aren’t even in all about themselves.
A 9-3 Texas team never deserved to be in the CFP this season no matter what Texas fans or media try to tell you. Will they learn to temper expectations before next season? I honestly don’t care to find out because that would involve having to talk to an actual Texas fan, which sounds awful.
Texas A&M – A time machine
Set the date to either October or 1939. One was their last national title, and the other was their when they beat LSU. And, let’s be perfectly clear, LSU is, and always will be, Texas A&M’s Super Bowl. They made that painfully obvious this year in Baton Rouge.
Vanderbilt – Jared Curtis to pick up where Diego Pavia left off
One of the signs of the times in college football was Vanderbilt flipping longtime Georgia commit and five star QB Jared Curtis.
The Commodores were able to land their first five star player ever. Vanderbilt is capping off their first ten win season in program history, and would love nothing more than to stay upstairs and out of the SEC basement where they’ve dwelled for decades. Having a star QB could be the easiest way to make sure that happens.
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