It cannot be overstated how big of a weekend this is in the world of SEC and college football. With that being said, let’s get right to it. There are eight games on the docket, which means it’s time to talk about what you need to know before Saturday. More importantly, here’s what you need to be drinking on Saturday.
Texas at Missouri
The Winning
Missouri 23, Texas 20
The Boozing
Penny pitchers of Budweiser. Back in the day, in the bars outside of where the St. Louis Blues would play the new shipments of Anheuser-Busch products that would come into the bars every Wednesday. That meant on Tuesday bars needed to get rid of the old inventory. That meant a helluva deal for drinkers and bar patrons every week – Penny pitchers. Pitchers of beer for pennies on the dollar. What a time to be alive.
Missouri is still an AB product state. Sure, there are probably craft breweries popping up all over there just like everywhere else because if there are three things Americans love it’s booze, a fad and punny names on the side of a beer bottle. But, at its core, Missouri is still an AB product state through and through, and their oldest, and most famous, beer is still Budweiser. The King of Beers. Keep your Shiner Bock back in Texas Longhorn fans and enjoy a pitcher of ice-cold Americana with a side of some midwest hospitality. Saving you some money with penny pitchers is the least they can do after what we all watched you spend in the transfer portal this past offseason to yield these mediocre results.
Arkansas at Auburn
The Winning
Auburn 30, Arkansas 21
The Boozing
Apple Cider Bourbon smash. Both of these fan bases have been drinking the pain away for weeks now. As someone who had roughly one or eight of these last Saturday night on Halloween, this is the perfect drink for that. My pain was much different than Auburn and Arkansas fans. I got roasted by a seven-year-old on Halloween who called me, “fat beard.” I know what you’re thinking – you must have been dressed as a pirate. Granted that would be an incredible name for a pirate. However, sadly I was dressed like a piece of corn because our family was a crawfish boil. Absolutely brutal.
Insert these delicious drinks. After two or three I totally forgot about that public roasting, and 11/10 would recommend for fans of these two bottom dwelling programs to do the same. Pro tip – drinking to forget is not chic, but if you make it sound cool and seasonal, far less people will judge.
Alabama at LSU
The Winning
LSU 31, Alabama 23
The Boozing
Miller High Life. It feels like everyone keeps trying to dress up this game as something it’s not this week. A rivalry. A new era being ushered in. A changing of the guard. This game was always one of the best matchups in the 2010s, but rivalries tend to be far less one-sided than one team going 13-2 in the last 15 matchups. What this game, this weekend truly is a playoff elimination game. The winner is going to keep their CFP hopes alive. In Alabama’s case it would all but assure them a spot in the CFP given how easy the rest of their schedule is.
However, a loss is most likely going to eliminate either team. Sure, LSU has a 64% chance to still make it if they win both of their next two games, but a loss puts either team behind the eight ball. That’s why we are drinking Miller High Life – The champagne of beers. It feels like the perfect choice because even a win on Saturday doesn’t necessarily garner popping an actual bottle of champagne just yet. And a loss? It’s time to drown your sorrows. And, as someone who has worked in plenty of dive bars over the years, few things go hand in hand like drinking alone while drowning your sorrows and the champagne of beers.
