By Chris Marler
Let’s get into it. Here’s a preview, prediction, and drink of choice that you’ll need at the biggest games in college football this weekend.
Buckle up Bama fans and Baton Rouge. This is a big one. There are few games that drive fans to drink more than LSU-Alabama. Whether it be the Game of the century, TJ Yeldon’s screen pass, or the 2019 showdown in T-town there have been some incredible winning and even more incredible boozing moments in the history of this series.
Let’s get into it. Here’s a preview, prediction, and drink of choice that you’ll need at the biggest games in college football this weekend.
LSU at Alabama
This used to be the biggest game of the year, every year. It was a three and a half hour panic attack in primetime on CBS. It was Vern Lundquist, Gary Danielson and roughly 40 or more future NFL players on the field.
This year has a much different feel. LSU has an interim coach, Alabama has rebounded well after an embarrassing week one loss. There’s a lot to unpack in what is one of the best rivalries in this conference over the last 20 years.
This game boils down to a few things for me and all of them are based on which matchups LSU can exploit. Alabama’s rush defense is the weak link of the defense. LSU doesn’t run the ball very well, or even consistently enough to respect it. Alabama is even worse at running the ball and are ranked 114th in FBS in rushing yards per game.
Another matchup is LSU’s offensive line who has been very bad for most of the year and will most likely be starting a true freshman at LT in Carius Curne. Can Alabama take advantage? They rank 14th in the SEC and 91st in America in sacks this season with just 15.
The bread and butter for Alabama is throwing the football. That is going to be directly into the strength of LSU. Mansoor Delane is the best corner in America, and the Tigers have arguably the best safety duo in the SEC, as well.
The Winning
Alabama 27, LSU 24
The Boozing
An Adderall Spritz.
I know what I said. I know it’s Aperol. But, what I said first makes way more sense, and would probably be even more fun.
Aperol Spritz’s are refreshing, light, and won’t usually get you drunker than anyone wants. That’s perfect for this new interim era for LSU and Frank Wilson. It seems this team is refreshed, rejuvenated and playing with a different fire in practice with a new man in charge.
Another buzz word that keeps being floated around Baton Rouge this weekend is focus. That’s where the adderall comes in. And, no one needs that more than Alabama and Kalen DeBoer going down the final stretch of the season. Everyone remembers what happened last year in November against Oklahoma. What could go wrong? An unranked team, coming off a bye and Alabama is a double digit favorite? Uh oh.
BYU at Texas Tech
The line on this game is 10.5 points which feels way too high. That immediately makes me wonder if the sportsbooks in Las Vegas know something we don’t.
Texas Tech is 8-1 this season against the spread which is tied for the best record in the country. Still, I think BYU is really good, and will keep this game very close. If their starting quarterback didn’t wear No. 47 like an idiot, I’d probably pick them. But, I cannot consciously pick a team whose QB is either from the 1910s or Disney Channel cosplaying with that number choice.
The Winning
Texas Tech 34, BYU 30
The Boozing
A Diet Strawberry Vanilla Dr. Pepper in a 64 ounce Stanley cup.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from the Secret Lives of Mormon Housewives, it’s that rich people in the American Southwest who aren’t allowed to drink alcohol love them some sugary diet drinks. I can only assume the same is the case for rich people in Lubbock living off oil money and NIL “investments.”.
I’m not sure what people in Lubbock drink. I do know BYU fans aren’t allowed to have fun.
Texas A&M at Missouri
I am pulling hard for Missouri in this one. Not because I don’t like Texas A&M or want to see Mike Elko’s team fail spectacularly down the stretch like most Aggie teams do. I’m pulling for Missouri because Matt Zollers, a true freshman, is starting at quarterback for them on Saturday.
Not only would a third string, true freshman leading Mizzou to a top five win be a great story line. It would also help launch my NIL funding “Zoller Zoller, Bills” merch line. M-I-Z!
The Winning
Missouri 27, Texas A&M 26
The Boozing
Miller Genuine Draft.
This one is simple. Give me something refreshing, light and full of 90s nostalgia. A time before Twitter, before everyone hated each other over politics and when college football had a strictly regionally-based conference between 8-12 teams like the good Lord intended.
I can’t tell you it’s going to be good, just like I can’t tell you a true freshman is going to keep Missouri’s playoff hopes alive. But, I can tell you this drink will remind you of a simpler time and one where these two were Big 8 rivals, not SEC opponents.
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