By Chris Marler
Let’s just get this out of the way right now, I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing this week with these power rankings. Week 7 was more chaotic than a bounce house at a 4-year-old’s birthday party. It’s Wednesday and I’m still trying to process what happened last Saturday.
If I had to rank things that I’m least confident in right now in my life, the top three would be: how to compute square foot math, what my girlfriend actually means when she says, “I’m fine”, and how to accurately rank these Week 6 SEC power rankings.
That being said, unlike Kalen Deboer’s fashion sense, let’s try our best.
- Texas (Last Week: 3)
Texas is one of only three teams in the conference who is still undefeated in conference play. They are 5-0 overall, have the most manageable schedule in the league and have two quarterbacks who are legitimately capable of leading them deep into the College Football Playoff. The one potential roadblock for the Longhorns doesn’t come for a few weeks. No, not Georgia. Texas heads to Nashville to play Vanderbilt, which we have all recently learned is an absolute snake pit.
- Georgia (Last Week: 4)
It’s starting to look like Georgia may have just had a really bad 30 minutes of football against Alabama, because otherwise the Dawgs still look like absolute world beaters. If they can stay healthy and out of jail the Dawgs will most likely be in Atlanta, in the playoff, and potentially in the national championship, as well.
- Ole Miss (Last Week: 6)
Ole Miss went to Columbia, S.C., licking their wounds after a befuddling loss to Kentucky. Carolina was coming off a bye, at home and had revenge on the mind for former wide out Juice Wells. What happened? Ole Miss absolutely dominated. Good teams win. Great teams cover. And, elite teams put their foot on their opponent’s throat early and don’t let up. Ole Miss did all three.
- Alabama (Last Week: 1)
If you’ve been waiting all week for my statistical and in-depth analysis on this Alabama team after their historic upset loss at Vanderbilt. Well, here it is –
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Pathetic.
- LSU (Last Week: 5)
LSU enjoyed a bye week away from the chaos and now gets Magnolia State rival, Ole Miss, in Death Valley. We aren’t talking enough about that game, and we aren’t talking enough about how good Garrett Nussmeier has been this season. That will change Saturday night.
- Vanderbilt (Last Week: 14)
Get over here big guy. Get your flowers. The whole country watched you slay Goliath, and I’m gonna tell you something that my parents haven’t told me since I got that tattoo at 21 in Myrtle Beach. I’m proud of you. In the words of Diego Pavia, “VANDY WE F*****G TURNT!”
Now, go beat Kentucky.
- Texas A&M (Last Week:10)
A 2.5-point favorite at home against a Top 10 team that was coming off a bye week? A quarterback coming off injury who was a game time decision after not playing for the last three weeks? How do you respond?
A 31-point win where you absolutely dominated on both sides of the ball. The Aggies proved everyone wrong, and so did Conner Weigman. Just an unbelievably impressive performance out of Mike Elko’s bunch in College Station.
- Tennessee (Last Week: 2)
Imagine being so dumb that you watched Tennessee beat Kent State by a million points and then thought that they were not only the best team in the SEC, but possibly the country. Not my best moment guys. Tennessee looked lost in Fayetteville last week. Nico Iamaleava has not looked like the superstar we thought he’d be. And the Vols blew an 11-point lead in the fourth quarter to the Hogs who were playing with a backup quarterback. There’s a lot of season left, but that was a bad look.
- Arkansas (Last Week: 11)
What a scene in Fayetteville last week. The Hogs got Sam Pittman a statement win and subsequently got off his hot seat after beating the No. 4 Tennessee Vols, 19-14. They also got their first win against a Top 5 team at home since 1999, when they also beat Tennessee. Landon Jackson had a breakout game, and this Hogs defense may be the most overlooked and underrated unit in the conference.
- Kentucky (Last Week: 10)
Kentucky got a week off after their big win in Oxford. While that was a huge win, I’m still hesitant on the Wildcats because that offense has been downright bad this season. They are last in the SEC in points per game (22.0), 15th in total offense (321.6 ypg), and 15th in yards per play at just 5.01.
Now, Vanderbilt comes to town. Kentucky is a two-touchdown favorite against the Commodores, but Mark Stoops is just 2-10 all time against the spread off a bye week.
- Missouri (Last Week: 7)
It’s time we have a serious talk about Missouri. There have been flaws in this team for weeks leading up to what happened in College Station. It’s hard to win in this league. It’s especially hard to consistently win in this league. And, that 11-win season a season ago was awesome, but as I said repeatedly in the offseason, don’t let that distract you from the fact that Eli Drinkwitz didn’t have a winning record for three straight seasons before 2024.
- Florida (Last Week: 13)
Honestly, it feels like Florida should be higher on this list, or at the very least they should have moved up a little more this week strictly based on their performance against Central Florida a week ago. Billy Napier’s teams got dominated against Miami and Texas A&M, and both those games were at home, which was admittedly a bad look.
But, he and the Gators have responded really well the last two games. Granted they beat a horrible Mississippi State team and a struggling UCF team, but still. Napier was a home underdog to an in-state “rival”, and Florida came out and put the clamps down early. I don’t know how high the ceiling is for Napier and this team this year, but he deserves a little credit for what he’s done over the last three weeks.
- Oklahoma (Last Week: 12)
Sooner fans keep describing this team as a bad offense with an “elite” defense. Guys, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Oklahoma isn’t an elite defense. They don’t rank in the Top 5 of the conference in any of the following statistics: scoring defense, yards per play, total defense, passing defense, or yards per pass attempt. They actually rank tenth or worse in each of the last three of those listed.
Have fun with Texas this weekend.
- South Carolina (Last Week: 8)
Just an absolutely embarrassing performance last weekend for Shane Beamer and South Carolina. Allow me to go off for a minute. You had a week off to prepare for a huge game against a team limping in off a loss, and lost, 27-3, at home.
After getting a stop on the opening series, Beamer ran one of the most awkward, not to mention obvious, fake punts I’ve ever seen on his team’s first drive of the game on his own side of the field. They were stopped, and Ole Miss scored to go up 7-0. Then after a little bit of a drive on offense, USC brought in their backup quarterback to run RPO, and he promptly fumbled and Ole Miss recovered. Then scored shortly after. 14-0.
South Carolina didn’t have an advantage over Ole Miss on/in: offense, defense, coaching, or roster talent. The one advantage they did have was playing at home, and they promptly gave that away in the first ten minutes of the game. Just stupid.
- Auburn (Last Week: 15)
At least Alabama lost. War Eagle.
- Mississippi State (Last Week: 16)
At least State didn’t play.
