(Note: The “facts” are from Wikipedia, made up entirely, and meant to not be taken seriously. Enjoy!)
ABOUT THE SCHOOLS
Arizona State
Location – TEMU Scottsdale
Founded In – 1885
Tuition – $33,270
Enrollment – 74,878
Acceptance Rate – 89.8 Percent
Mascot – A dude named Blake who only wears tank tops all year long
Texas
Location – Dallas but make it Lib
Founded In – 1883
Tuition – $42,778
Enrollment – 32,384
Acceptance Rate – 29.0 Percent
Mascot – A rom-com actor dressed in leather who thinks he’s on the team
FUN FACTS & TRADITIONS
Arizona State
1. Originally a teacher’s college and named the Territorial Normal School
2. Ranked Top 5 nationally in party schools and STD rates
3. With over 13,000 international students they have the most international students for any public university in the U.S.
Texas
1. Have over 60 national titles and zero self-awareness
2. LBJ Library is the first presidential library on a college campus.
3. Texas’ campus is located just 17 miles to Lake Travis which is filled with the tears of sensitive ass fans upset over horns down signals
FAMOUS ALUMNI
Arizona State
Kate Spade – Schill for Bags
Barry Bonds – Shriveled Bag
Matt Barrie – Bloody Mary Enthusiast
Al Michaels – NFL Vern Lundquist
David Spade – Tommy Boy
Greg Byrne – Broke Boy/Alabama AD
Texas
Robert Cade- Inventor of Gatorade
Elise Harmon- Contributed to the miniaturization of computers
Michael Dell – Founder Dell computers
Angus Wynne – Founder of Six Flags
Farrah Fawcett – OG Sydney Sweeney
Matthew Mcconoughey – Actor from Failure to Launch
