If you’re reading this, you had better at least be by a pool. Or a grill. Or some fireworks. Hopefully all three. Which got me thinking, what would every SEC coach’s role be at the 4th of July get together.
Kalen DeBoer – Bringing potato salad with raisins in it.
Kirby Smart – Fireworks and beer. It’s not at his house, but he is running the show.
Lane Kiffin – On the Aux cord, playing country EDM remixes on Spotify.
Pete Golding – Skipped to watch game film and recruit.
Josh Heupel and Mike Elko – Fat guys on the grill asking “you want cheese on your burger” every eight-to-13 minutes.
Steve Sarkisian – Brought fireworks that won’t get used. Really just came to gossip about Texas Tech’s barbecue not being as good as theirs.
Will Stein – Most likely has zinc/sunscreen on his nose that’s not rubbed in. He’s also probably wearing floaties.
Alex Golesh – Trying to organize a way too aggressive game of pool basketball.
Alex Silverfield – Got lost on the way and went to the wrong house. No one seems to notice because they invited Sam Pittman to come in his place anyway.
Eli Drinkwitz – Brought the seltzers and has been making not so subtle jabs at everyone. Everyone is laughing, but Sarkisian is about to lose it if he keeps it up.
Jeff Lebby – Swimming with his shirt on in the shallow end.
Shane Beamer – Brought potato salad without raisins (as God intended). In charge of the pre-meal prayer.
Jon Sumrall – Distracted on his phone, and doesn’t want to get his blue and orange Jordans wet.
Clark Lea – Shows up in a full body swimsuit and goggles. Strictly there for his cardio workout in the lap pool.
Brent Venables – About to get the worst sunburn you have ever seen.
