I tried.
That’s not solicitation for praise. It’s a statement of fact. I attempted to watch significant World Cup action over the weekend after failing to watch any while the College World Series and my week of family vacation held my attention.
After review, I just don’t have room for it.
If I think about my sports consumption like my plate at Thanksgiving. I have to consider how much of every item I can handle.
College football and the NFL are the turkey. They’re the staples. Not my absolute favorite, but part of the fabric of my country’s culture and completely enjoyable. I eat it all the time.
For me, college baseball is the sweet potato casserole. It’s not for everyone, but I pile it on with a shovel. MLB is the mac and cheese. I loved it as a kid when Sammy Sosa was blasting steroid-aided homers 500 feet out of Wrigley Field, and I’ll love it when I’m 80.
Golf is the dressing. I enjoy it more than most, but it’s a one bite and back to turkey on Sundays. I know that side dish is there, but I’ll pick my times for it like the majors and the Ryder Cup.
Basketball is the dinner rolls. It’s on the plate, but I’m not gorging on it.
There’s no real estate on my plate for soccer. Consider it the deviled eggs or the cornbread casserole. I’m glad y’all love it, even if it’s only on rare occasions. I’m out.
Full disclosure, I haven’t watched a full soccer match in many years. I’m not cognizant of all the rules. I probably can’t name eight players from the entire World Cup field and certainly couldn’t connect a single player to his European club team. I watched USA-Bosnia & Herzegovina, Paraguay-France, England-Mexico, Brazil-Norway and Monday night’s drubbing of the US by Belgium.
In that sample size, I saw some great action. Brazil and Norway played a good, clean game with brilliant saves and two great goals. The passion in Estadio Azteca for England’s win over the host was palpable. I loved the US team being serenaded by Country Roads on the west coast and the English belting out Wonderwall after a dramatic victory south of our border.
The World Cup’s ability to captivate and unite folks in my Twitter feed who can’t agree on anything was wonderful. It’s a truly excellent event.
I just don’t like the sport. And I promise that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
Too often I feel like the soccer boils down to a race to the ground. Who can sell an injury to the official to claim possession or worse get a free kick where the goalie dives the wrong way 65 percent of the time? France’s lone goal against Paraguay came on a fortunate fall where the offensive player was run through with his back 15 yards from the goal. The reward? A free goal. The only goal of the game.
I don’t love it.
I’m well aware that NBA players and wide receivers sell fouls and penalties in the sports I love. They don’t lay on the ground screaming in manufactured agony and then lay motionless while the game continues. LSU’s new head coach had his guys from Oxford doing that, and college football changed the rules.
And by my eye, soccer players gripe with referees doubly as often as Draymond Green. That’s weak, too.
I’m over the “NFL guys would crush the world if we were trying in soccer.” That’s probably not true, but it’s certainly possible. How do I know that? Because we crush the world in the Summer Olympics every two years in every sport under the sun. The US has won the most summer medals 19 times. Russia has done it six. No other country has done it twice.
I’d like our chances in a true baseball competition, but pitchers are never going to be deployed in a way that could hurt Major League organizations. US won both hockey golds this year. I realize it had been decades since the men accomplished that, but they’ve almost always been competitive. Not to mention the percentage of our truly elite athletes play football. The US is at or very, very near the top in all of those sports.
How many Belgian NBA players are there? Two. MLB? One all time. NFL? Three all time. NHL? One all time. That’s how we get annihilated by a country the size of North Carolina.
We’re bad at soccer primarily because the best athletes in the US don’t play soccer. If we scrapped our participation in those leagues like Belgium, I’d like our odds. But I’m over the debate.
Pencil me in for Ryder Cups, Summer Olympics, hockey gold medal games and World Baseball Classics moving forward.
I’ve just decided soccer isn’t for me. I support many of you deciding that about baseball and golf, two sports I love.
Now, can someone put that turkey in the grease? Fall is coming.
